The Arena Of The Unwell

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6.30
Andre Agassi's Vegas Nights  
At a charity ball , and on a powerfull mixture of horse tranquilisers and old Opal Fruits , Andre harrases and jabs at the useless carcass of the former heavyweaight champion of the world , Cassius Clay , much to the dissaproval of the horrified and weeping crowd .  

7.00
Neighbours  
In a fit of beffudled rage , Harrold forces an oily rag down Lou's throat . Meanwhile Paul Robinson finnally realises that Serena is the jewel in the Bishop crown , and so sets about winning her from the enigmatic Stingray .

7.35
Clive's Jive
Australia's answer to Claude Greengrass , Clive James , hosts this irreverant look at the apparent lack of current day televisual racial attacks on the queer tongue of the native black Britian .
Subtitiles

8.00
Ray Mears Knife Tears
Honest to goodness explorer Ray Mears recollects with fond adue popular hunting knife horrors and accidents .
Subtitles 888

8.30
Round The Twist
More on the verge goings on from the twist familly . Bronson pisses all over a sacred indian artifact which exacts it's revenge by by giving him an imporbably large penis .  
Subtitles

8.15
Rick Mayall's Sick Mail   
Tv funnyman Rick Mayall goes undercover in a bid to irredeemably blacken celebrities names by sending child molestation e-mails through their home computers . This week Rick sneaks into the house of Brian Blessed .
Stereo

9.00
Heinrich And Karl
Critically mauled prequel to Die Hard . Sgt Al Powell loses his cool and his partner when Hans Gruber's favorite brotherly minions tear appart a bank . Breif appearance by a folically restored Bruce Willis as a young LA cop .(2005)
Sterero , Subtitles 888

10.45
Britains Worst DIY Surgeon   
Quentin Wilson scours Britian in search of it's worst do it yourself surgeon . In tonighs show we visit bakery worker Doreene from Newcastle Upon Tyne , who was critically brain damaged after a botched attempt at breast augmentation .

11.15
TV Star Wars
Tonight Yoda upsets Luke after a violently drunken tirade leaves the young jedi fearfull for his life . Meanwhile , Lando tries and fails to charm his way into Lea's pants , making for a frosty if not deadly reception from Chewbacca .

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11.45
Kilroy's Shit Diving   
Robert Kilroy Silk scours the length and breadth of Great Britian in search of shit filled olympic sized swiming pools in which to carry out his awe-inspiring passtime .

12.15-Close
The Famous Grouse   
TV Chef Keith Floyd takes to the streets tanked up on Famous Grouse and shows us the best way to lurk at the back of a nightclub , stone cold sober , and preying on the burgeoning bodys of half-grown pullulating young girls .

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