The Arena Of The Unwell

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6.30
Andre Agassi's Vegas Nights  
Having failed a mandatory drugs test , Andre returns home from Wimbeldon a broken and jaded man . To lighten his mood , freind and TV funnyman Mathew Perry shares some pain killers and a bottle of methamphetamine with milk .

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7.00
Neighbours  
Stingray is astonished to find tycoon Paul Robinson buggering his ashen faced brother Dylan . Meanwhile Lou thinks there is money and sweet revenge to be made pimping Conner's dumb Irish arse up and down Ramsey Street , whilst playing the songs of King William's Orangemen on the tin flute .  

7.35
Monkey Man    
We follow singer/songwriter Ian Brown as he sets upon people in inner city London in the style of a Silverback Ape . Horror ensues as Ian breaks his sunglasses whilst chatting to Ainsley Harriot .
Subtitles 888

8.00
Micheal Palins Around The Whore In 80 Ways
Sexumentarry with Micheal Pallin as he shows us how to get the best out of our whores whilst staying within the boundrys of the law . This week Micheal visists the Lady Boys of Cambodia , and shows us the exact point of which strangulation sex goes too far .
Subtitles 888

8.30
Sheakspear And I
We follow "Posh Nosh" star Richard E Grant as he downs relevant bottles of spirits and reads aloud Sheakspear plays in inner city shopping malls . This week Richard stuggles with his lines to Hamlett, and resorts to lifting lines from his late 80's film Hudson Hawk whilst performing a very wholely inarticulate and poorly thought out immitation of Bruce Willis .
Subtitles

8.15
Punch And Judy  
Late night version of the popular daytime show "Richard And Judy" . Tonight Richard is punched in the gooch everytime he leers forward and claps his hands in his faux excitement anxious peadophile style .
Stereo

9.00
Old Nigger Bones  
Harrowing silent film chronocolling a 1930's mid american town's struggle to cope with it's black population . Starring a young Morgan Freeman as little Joey Negroe . (1939)
Sterero , Subtitles 888

10.45
I Aint Gettin On No Plane Fool  
Mr T hosts a fly on the wall look at Prestwick International Airport . Boredome and mind knumbing predictability as yet more foul mouthed and foul brained idiots clammer around a help desk demanding to know why they left their passport at home on the one day of the year that they actually need them .

11.15
Africa's Gunniest Citys
Stuuning real life footage from the worst and best of Arfica's bullet pocked cities . Presented by a deeply vengefull Mide Ure .  

11.45
How D'You Like Them Apples
Wacky game show spin off from Maxwell Ward's popular sitcom, "Fuck About" . In this show contestants are held in a vice by a celebrity guest while Maxwell forces mystery apples into their cheeks , prize money of £20 for every apple . This week the apple is Granny Smith , and the celebrity guest is Lee Bowyer .

12.15-Close
The Famous Grouse   
TV Chef Keith Floyd takes to the streets tanked up on Famous Grouse and tries to show us how to get the most from your local lippy Pakki batli house . This week inconvenience errupts as Keith and freind Llyod Grossman poke fun at the facially disfigured "oven boy" that almost all Kebab shops harbour .

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