Andre Agassi's Vegas Nights  

After getting thrown out of The Plaza casino for "lurking" around the slots , Andre decides to go prostitute hunting . Ugly scenes arrise when Andre mistakes Britney Spears for a two bit whore .

Neighbours  

After coming into possesion of one of Madge's old sawn off shotguns , chaos regins as Harold decides to kill anyone that hessitates on their order at the coffee shop . Meanwhile Carl nearly dies whilst trying to perform a liver dialosis on himself to hide his alchoholism from the medical board of Erinsborough .

Kilroy Silk hosts this controversial hidden camera show where young skint law students are set upon by Micheal Barrymore and freinds in return for their weight in 1 pence pieces .

Subtitles 888

Subtitles 888

Reality Tv show in which Paul Ross goads elderly memebers of the public into saying the word "golywog" , then having them spend the night in prison for inciting racial hatrid .

Stereo

This week Steven manages to slay 100 people that were idly standing in a que at the Glasgow UGC waiting to see the new "Rock" film , as not one single "cunt" managed to hollar "rah rah rah" at him .

Stereo

Harrowing coming of age film  in which Ted Danson , Tom Selleck and Steve Guttenberg try to bring up a young boy , only to find out he is a 40 yearold practising homosexual .(2005)

Sterero , Subtitles 888

Game show in which two celebs voted for by the public and dragged out of their bed in the middle of the night must fight to the death in a purpose built arena called "Thunderdome" to the music of Tina Turner and the chants of "two men enter , one man leaves" . This week the public voted for Mick Jagger and Bruce Forsyth .

Niles is horrified to find his local Harlem bank manager is black , so strangles kills him with the aid of chloroform and a parker pen . Niles then struggles to bury the body in his concrete back garden , and Daphnie returns from England acompanied by a morbidly obeesse Robbie Coltraine .

Domic Diamond is left furious and has a show long , live on tv breakdown when someone phones in asking for cheats to Demolition Derby , amid screams of "Sega Dreamcast cunt" from the ominous facial likeness of Patrick Stuart , voiced as ever by Lenny Henry .

 

Hideously pixelated pornography , acompanied by dreadful "Muzack" . Tonights show is also interspersed with a calculatrice version of "Welcome To The Jungle" and Tsunami children for sale adds .